"What's the good word for today?"
"What are you doing?"
These are just two conversation starters that always throw me, cause me to get that confused look and say, "Huh?" It's because I think of them too literally and think, 'Does he really want me to say a word?' and 'What does she mean, what am I doing? I'm standing here talking to her."
Similarly, I often use well-known proverbs and idioms in my speech but I either butcher it or don't really know what the saying is supposed to mean. It makes me laugh now because I find myself throwing in things like, "barking at the wrong tree" or grossly misusing a saying like, "better now than never".
More people should use the greeting, "How YOU doin'?"
(I'll be back!)